I have to forgive him tonight before the night is over so I can sleep and wake up tomorrow. So I can live my perfect life again. But I wonder if I can.
Our life was so perfect and he destroyed it like he always does. He is the destroyer. He eats ants. He eats small red ants. He takes them and puts them in his mouth when he sees them crawling on the floor.
He said that they taste sour and asked me to do the same. He destroys things for no reason. People do different things. Some people create art out of trash, some people create new things, like-wise, some people destroy things.
This guy I know was a destroyer. He’d destroy anything a well functioning lighter, a beautiful pair of sun glass, a motorbike.
Its not that he would do so intentionally because his intention would always be to fix it but somehow he was never able to fix any of the things he ripped open or apart. I am a blamer. I am almost at the verge of blaming myself for his stupid act but that would be wrong.
On the upside, I loved him. We had the perfect relationship. We have had those unforgettable moments of laughter. Those moments feels like the best friendship in the universe. Kind of like love.
On the upside, I had an amazing time with him. A slow downfall with the best peak points. What a show that was.
On the upside, we were different. I was different. He was aimless, irresponsible and greedy as hell. He was loveless and gave me a lot of pain.
I will always remember him. I cannot change that. I will always be happy when I think of the of the best times we’ve had and sad knowing that he is not part of my life anymore. I learnt a lot from this relationship. I learnt that people are meant to be understood.
I learnt that men fall in love. And I realized that I am beautiful. How can I not forgive this extraordinary man. After all, I will always love him. Love is real only when you can accept their unacceptable wishes and not want to change it. He wanted to move on.