There are times when i’m melancholic. Its hard to explain if melancholy was boredom or life. Lately life has been very very beautiful. I like the sight of butterflies. Its ironic that one shouldn’t care in order to be free. I always thought care makes you beautiful. I’ve been thinking a lot about fire. I saw a cow. She was sweeter than me. She walked away when she knew that i was uncomfortable eating at a roadside sandwich shop while she was watching me. She was angry and i cried when i realized that i had embarrassed her but it didn’t matter to me when i realized that i was beautiful.
Dogs, crows and cows are inseparable parts of my life. What a wonderful thing it is this life. What a gift it is to see such beautiful things like fire. Every flame reminds me of the greatness of god. Fire is an element of the world. Being surrounded by man made things like bricks and concrete and gadgets and electricity, the very sight of fire and the knowledge that it is beyond human control makes me understand its divine nature. It looks like its not part of our world and that its part of another dimension. Something magical. I have no words to describe water, the very sound of water mesmerizes me. Every time i imagine a water stream i feel the sensation of something extremely beautiful. Some memories are unforgettable and some memories are unforgivable.
I sincerely wonder what love means. It hurts me to even think about it because everyone i loved, left me in despair. I think i may have given up on love and I am slowly falling in love with my own voice.
Nothing makes me happier than songs. I wonder if love has something to do with music. If love was a song, would we sing it everyday. If love was light, then would i shine?
I wonder what kind of a world this is. I wonder if there is any meaning at all. Beside all of those painful thoughts, i still believe in god. i believe that life is the greatest gift ever. There is god in everything we see, feel, think and hear. Looking for that makes life more and more beautiful, everyday. I think god is a universal mind. He makes us see, hear, smell, perceive, and feel everything we want to. i pray to god all the time and god always answers my prayers. I like the colours i see. I like the feelings in me. I wonder what the future holds for me.