My mission is to make the world understand Autism


Autism is not a mental disorder. It is an evolution of the human brain.

From language to education, from science to engineering and the invention of economy, our growth has been phenomenal over the past few centuries. We are taking engineering and medicine to a great new level. Everything is becoming modernized. Soon there would be no men working at construction sites. There will be computer operated machines creating large scale constructions on its own. There would be a cure for all diseases. There may be a time when there are no diseases at all. It may be told that most of the diseases are imaginary.

There would be a cure for imagination. Hypnosis would be advanced. May be my imagination is faster than time but the idea of a modern civilization is manifesting. It is 2015 and the future is bright. It’s beautiful and it’s made in chrome. Man is complete, or so we thought, until the man of the future came along.

Autism spectrum was first diagnosed and speculated upon in the beginning of 1980s. The spectrum was discovered and people thought of it as an epidemic, they were looking for a cure. Parents from all over the world were educated about autism. One by one autistic children were identified. Over the next two decades the reason for autism was questioned and pondered upon. Many scientists and doctors searched and researched to know the reason for autism.

From vaccines to genomes every idea was conceived and tested. Today every child out of 68 children is autistic. In 1980, the number was 1 in 10,000 children, in 1990 it was 1 in 500, in 2000; the autism statistic in USA was 1 in 250 children. In 2004: 1 in 166 American children were affected, in 2009, 1 in 110 and in 2013: 1 in 68 children are autistic.

In the year 2013 the idea of gene mutation was brought into consideration by Dr. Mathew. W. State, Psychiatrist, University of California, and the reason for autism was officially discovered. Autism is a result of gene mutation. It means that from the first amoeba to ape and to man, our genes were transferred in a pattern. The gene of mankind was successful, we made more babies, we built newer and newer civilizations and we found a way to co-exist. If you asked me i’d say man is over estimating himself to think that he can destroy his universe. There would be a greater species than man, just a few thousand years from now.

Anyway, in 1900’s there was a gene mutation. It was like one braid in a million braids that went wrong and the result was autism. Autism is a brain condition that consists of a spectrum of disorder, from attention to communication, therefore the name given to it is the Autism Spectrum.

The condition is purely a communication disability. Humans have a need to belong to a community, a need to interact. It fulfils his thirst to understand, to know what another person is thinking or feeling. Therefore when a man comes along non-communicative, and does not behave the way he does, he brands him mentally disabled.

The truth of autism must be explained. Autistic people have a different brain. They cannot understand the things we do, for example smelling water might be absolutely brilliant according to them, but from our perspective, it would be stupid.

I say, the ability to talk and express feelings has only confused us. Language is an invention. Man was not born to speak. Man was born. There was no reason to it, just like autism. Language was invented and is in use till date to express feelings. What you want. What you feel. What you’re opinion is. To express what you are thinking, to make life more beautiful. Language is only a series of sounds learnt and mastered to express a particular meaning. Philosophically saying, i realize, there is no meaning. Meaning is what we imagine it to be.

It is known that autistic children are gifted in many ways. Human beings cannot even begin to understand the possibilities of such advanced cognition. From Human calculators to eidetic memories there are some significant traits of autistic children. The question is how do we tap that side of them, how do we understand, educate and create a community for autistic children say as a means of finding a course of transfer to the human evolution. If you want to be superior you must act superior. People like Dr. Ami Klin, are proving that infants who don’t make eye contact are 90% likely to become autistic. I wonder if that is the right direction to analyze the autism spectrum.

To understand autism, we must first understand ourselves. We must understand the human condition. Emotional life is as important as everything to creativity. If there is a reason why man fails to see the truth about autism it is because man cannot understand his own emotional life. The human condition is worth being studied as the results may make us question our very reality. We have all gone past a phase wondering what is going on, why are we in this world. Where did it all come from? How would it all end? What is the future? How does change happen?

Autism is a gateway to a world that mankind has failed to explore. In all odds i think autism is a gift. It is a gift given to us by god to explore the world in a brand new way. It’s a brand new brain.

I feel underprivileged knowing that I’m not autistic, because like all gadgets when there is a new one, we all wish for the latest kind. I understand the pain of the parents of autistic children. They are worried because they are trying to give their children a better life, because our definition of life is very standard.

We must all educate ourselves on the basic studies, we should find a field that we are interested in and contribute to it or just work hard enough to build a life, so we can feed ourselves and survive to understand the many feelings of love. As a human being, i feel terrible to know that autism has stunted the growth of feelings in autistic children. Why should they be cut out from being together with us?

For that reason alone, we must think, we must find a way to create a community for an upcoming era of evolution. Autistic people are communicating from various parts of the world. They are expressing their feelings and emotions. They are telling us what they are going through. They are telling us what they feel. They are letting us know what they want and why they do what they do. They are making their presence felt. As humans it is our duty to address this situation and bring about a change to our world. The dream is ours. The dream is always ours. We can make this world whatever we want it to be. Yours sincerely, Mk Yamini.





Most of the amazing things i have learnt in life are from films. Many things like money is not real” and i specifically enjoyed the movie inception for the “not real and yet so real” feeling that the movie generates.

Not real and yet so real. I could think about it for some more time. Real and yet not so real. Lets take time for instance. If time was not real would we not grow old? Lol. Time may not be real. But change is. Your body is simply reacting to the changes of your feelings and taking shape. Time is not real, most realized souls, realize that. I suppose enlightenment is all about attaining a point when you realize that time is not real after all. You can google it, wikipedia it. Time is a means of measurement.

Time is a means to measure the rate of change. Life is an array of feelings. Good feelings, bad feelings, each person to their own feelings and understanding. Each person to their own story. Each person to their own life. What you do with your life is the only challenge and its really upto you to do what you want.

Sometimes i think of life as a dream. Its true i have experienced it many times to accept this. I believe sometimes that life is constantly on a repeat mode. So i understand that the only way to stop repeating the same pattern is by not making the same mistakes. Change yO. Be brave.

I think inception is an amazing film. Its a straight take on what man must do. Dream fearlessly. We all spend time reliving our memories. Sometimes in our own darkness we wish we could change it. Sometimes we take an effort to change it. Sometimes we destroy everything that we have painfully created, in order to go back to that one happy memory.

Happy or sad. You have to make new memories. You must have faith in god if you are one of those divers in the sea of simulation. Trust in god and just take a leap of faith. If you win, you win. If you lose well at least you tried. Learn to be more daring to speak what you believe. You may be the only person who believes it but there is an entire world out there that would support you and create you, as per your dream.

Learn to stand up for yourself. Learn to be without fear. Learn to live. Don’t forget to love after all that’s why we were born. I think humanity is god’s goal to make us all feel as one. Individual and yet connected. The mission is to be one remember?

PS: I don’t like the character of saito. He is a good man but e is a crooked businessman, but he is also, a loyal person. Duh.. !  Its kind of confusing. Is he good or is he bad? Choose a side Nolan.



Faith is born when man can feel dedicated towards his belief. There are many aspects of Hindu religion, from krishna to puranams, from vedam to carnatic music, the religion is vast, but i personally believe that there is nothing to understand in a religion. You just have to choose a religion and feed love and devotion to god. There are many gods in hinduism and each god is a mystery of his/her own. As i am a beginner in religion i cannot explain the meaning of every god and goddess, but i can talk about one particular god. Lord Vinayaka.

I found it extremely strange and i still do, that in times of distress, i would see a vinayakar statue. It would come to me as a reminder that god is out there and that everything is going to be al right.

There is something about knowledge. You can keep developing your knowledge, in fact you must. The ultimate goal of a mind should be to achieve its optimum. Every mind is unique. Every mind is filled with meaningful ideas that must come out in the open and create a kingdom of its own. In order to do that one must learn. One must be aware of the system of civilization. One must understand the environment to be able to make a point, to bring forward a change.

Its everybody’s dream. To make a change. Everybody wants to make a change but nobody knows how. How can you possibly make a change to our society? Signing petitions and trusting in the government is one way but on the other hand there is freedom of speech. There is the Liberty of free thought. We live in an era where your thought counts, your ideas matter.

All you need to do is find a way to voice it. In short i believe that vinayakar is the giver of knowledge but i am going to explore more and know more about vinayakar before i accept this thought of mine. You too can voice your views about hinduism. I am happy to know that there is field i can explore. Religion.

More exploring the mind.


So i was exploring the possibility of overcoming the fear of butterflies. I was sitiing upstairs the other day. I notice one of the most amazing things to do in life is bird watching. Of course, bird watching means being out in the open and that means the possibility of a butterfly strike. So i am normally looking out for butterflies to run away from. That’s probably why a small little bird that has a high speed flight always looks like a butterfly to me. Obviously, i am afraid of it. Because i think its a butterfly. How exactly does fear work?

I have always been afraid of butterflies but it took me a long time to realize it. I am now 27. I can tell it is only in the past fifteen years that i have realized that i am afraid of it. I should have been 13 when i was in my twelfth, when we were out in kodaikanal, a hill in india. We were on a school excursion, and according to the itenary we were supposed to go to the butterfly museum. I thought it was natural that my teachers would understand when i said that im afraid and i cant go. So when i told my teachers and they thought that i was lying, i bursted out in tears. All my friends cried along with me. Some of them cursed the teachers and said that were horrible people. I felt comforted.

Anyway i could never remember exactly why i cried. The more i thought of it, the more i recollected and understood. After years i understand what exactly happened that day. I cried because they didnt believe me, but they did leave me behind and go to the butterfly museum. I imagine the dead butterflies in the museum kept inside glass boxes, hung on the wall on display. I probably cried because i wanted them to believe me. They believed me because i cried. But trust me, i could not have gone in. Like my friend asks.. what is the worst that could have happened? Well, the worst? I could have seen those glass boxes.

You don’t really understand my fear, do you? I understand they’re dead. They cant fly or sit on my nose or anything but the idea of going to see butterflies. The idea of a butterfly. I have never understood why i feel afraid. Obviously there is an idea hidden somewhere that i don’t understand.

Let me be honest. I hate butterflies. I think they are ugly. I don’t know why, but i do. Its probably because of my mother. She hates herself and so i ended up hating butterflies. It makes sense. They are all great for theory but what about my life? So here it is, the only possibility of overcoming this fear is to actually like the butterfly. Oh my god. Is this real or what?

To like a butterfly… Hm. !

Random Thoughts

If i had to count the reasons for hatred, there would be many. Just because i feel like i can control my anger, let me go through that memory lane and try and remember all the reasons for hate. My mother, My family, Money and all my severe failures in love. All the rejection, all the embarrassment. Well, its easy to resent but hard to love.

Beauty is that of a mind. My mind is made of many valuable thoughts. In reality i feel stubborn and angry. I know the reasons. They were not easy to understand. Anyway, i realized that anger is not beautiful and that in fact its stupid because like all humans, i too have an immense desire to give love and to share affection. However i value the ability to distance myself and watch the show.

Hatred begins when fear crawls in by the back door. Imagination is the most amazing and obscure element of life. All animals have imagination. I have seen dogs scratching their back on the roads at night, when no one is watching. I recently saw a donkey scratch its throat on a barricade. The ability to perceive an idea is imagination. No one, man or animal, can perform a task without being able to imagine it first. Anyway Imagination being an obscure element kindles my interest. Because it is imagination that creates fear.

What are the things one could possibly fear. Some may fear failing in exams. Some, not having money. Some people like me, who have a phobia, could be afraid of a possible threat in the environment. BUt however rational or irrational the fear may be, it arises from an idea. The question is what is that idea?

Love. A taboo relationship. An illegal affair. The ability to do something without knowing what you are doing. The mind. A butterfly.

The mind is beautiful. Why would i not understand that? Why am i afraid of it? Because its not really a mind now is it? No of course not, its my mother I’m talking about. The reason i have to get it out is because i want to be done with my fear once and for all. After all, i want to enjoy the nature. I don’t want to sit in a park with my hands on my ears, feeling afraid that a butterfly might come from nowhere.

No. I don’t want to be scared. Is there a way for me to not care about it. If the butterfly only acts as an ultimate reminder of myself then understanding that the world is not real is the only way to overcome the fear. But how do i do it? I could feel unattached to the people. I could get married. What a tricky time of life? Hatred begins when fear crawls in through the back door. I have got to think of more options.

I could feel unattached to the people. That’s impossible. I am not going to give up on family drama. There is nothing more beautiful than that. If there was a way for me to simply realize that i am not afraid of those stupid butterflies, it would make my life more simple. The problems is i dont know what it means.

Confused, Lost. So Mysterious, my love.

I have and always will love the mysterious side of life. It takes abundant belief to move over from the normal faithless ocean into the eternal mystery of being. God is real. You don’t have to see it to believe it. The depth of analysis may vary from person to person, with age, life’s experiences, religion, etc, etc. What is god?

This takes me back to the great Scripture union mornings, that my lovely school used to organize. I have always been fascinated with meaningful songs. Especially when it involved god. “Faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains by the power of the lord” I’ve always known what it means. I will always love the meaning of that song because its true. God is real. He lives in the very being. You are surrounded by god. Around you, towards you, within you. Everything that is outside, everything that you see, everything that you feel, hear and understand is god.

I’ve never liked the story of my life. Until i had no other choice but to accept it. After 27 years of my life, i realize that i have been asleep through the best part of it. Oh Mahananda Maye. How blessed am i to be awakened into the beauty of god. How great have my parents been in their lives. How much good have they done for me to be so blessed?

How much pain have i been through to realize the ultimate truth. Do you remember that moment? How shall i ever forget. How shall i thank that mysterious man for walking into my mind and sharing his divine secret. It was at that very moment that i was awakened from the sleep of mankind.

Now, everyday i sit by the side of a door and stare at the light. Oh how beautiful is the light of god, I wonder everytime i see. Sometimes the doors are golden. Sometimes there is god inside. Reflection transform into diamonds when they shimmer on the road. The end of the road seems mysterious when dark.

Shops are psychedelic. Shop keepers are weird. I’m looking for acid in all the wrong places. Love has replaced itself with the divine. Anyway, back to the SU MISSION story. These people who sang that amazing song, were the same people who cracked a joke. He said.. “God is love” but please dont misunderstand “Love is not god.” “I see some college students write in the back of their books. LOVE IS GOD” “No, Love is not god. But God is love.”