be happy

I’m not an angry person but I feel angry when I don’t know what to do. I believe my mother is responsible for this. My mother and my father just because they gave birth to me.. Man, how selfish am I? Is being selfish, ugly or beautiful? I don’t know about that but I can tell you that life is beautiful. Every single moment is worth the pain. Every single moment is worth it.

I was thinking some time ago, I was actually singing a song to myself when I realised the meaning of the song that I was singing. Anyway, the song is about happiness. How the world is the end of happiness. If you think about it, you would realize how scary it is. Think about it… The world is the end of happiness. There is no happiness after “the end”.

I like to be happy. I like to be myself. I like to be patient, calm, loving and beautiful but I don’t know how, and it makes me angry. What a problem. I must say. With gods help anything is possible. With gods help I can achieve serenity, peace, freedom and tranquility.

There is a small truth about happiness that I want to share. Happiness is already there, you just need to know it.

I really like my mother but if I cannot express it then I must be mad. What kind of madness is beauty. Is beauty even real? Or is it just a product of imagination. Is beauty the ultimate maya? I think maya is beautiful. I am still that child, who is perplexed by magic tricks.

I like love. I love love. I find it strange when I realize that one can be greedy for love. Greedy for love. I guess like all greed, We must let go of the greed for love as well. I don’t want to be the person who pleases or the person who gets pleased. I don’t want to be stubborn. I just want to be part of gods magic and I want to be in love all the time.

Will this cure my fear of butterflies? I love music.. Who doesn’t? Can one’s phobia ever be cured? I’ve read about it. It says once you understand that you don’t have the fear, then you will no longer be afraid of it. Can I touch a butterfly? Or worse can I let a butterfly touch me… . Are you kidding me? I can’t even be in the same room with one.


Writers block

It’s been a long time since I wrote, but Every-time I sit down to write, I am always thrilled and shocked by the power of knowledge. I sometimes don’t understand where thoughts originate from. The more I think about it I feel a bit distressed. But eventually I understand that writing is an extraordinary talent. It’s the only way to express your feelings without shame, guilt or fear. I always feel that when you write, you take a load out of your heart and leave it aside for you to read later on, it’s like a photograph in a way, you know..

Sometimes I feel like there are so many thoughts that have never been voiced. My mind is like a cage of voices. Each one shouting for its freedom. Can thoughts be prisoned? Is that really a sin?

What happens when you drop a chain into the ocean? Will it ever come back up? Do cats really respect each other? Is friendship better than love? Why is it so hard to love the people you really love? Why are colours so beautiful?

I believe that curiosity is what makes you grow. Unlike growing physically, you can grow mentally, and to grow mentally you must be curious and courageous, to accept your own knowledge. You’re own light. Because, once we understand something, then the search is over. We are then, out there, looking for something more. Man is always looking to understand. The hunger for knowledge and the thirst for freedom are the only things man should cherish. Because there is nothing more beautiful than freedom and happiness.

Writing brings out your true self. Once you get past writers block, you’d be surprised how much you can think.