Writing to me is not a passion, Photography is my passion, however, writing is the only way i can free myself.. From unnecessary thoughts.
To think is a gift. Most educated people would say so. To write is to think, i believe. Therefore, we’ve got to think about something relevant before we lose our minds.
Before the germans do it.
Anyway.. Im here to induce a thought, a thought that i hope would change my life and i suppose you could use it for a walk or a run or a nap perhaps? The Labyrinth. The maze of life. Reality. The world. Everything that exists. Your life as you see it.
Labyrinth is a word given to describe the phenomenon of the mind. How your mind influences the slowly changing and thrilling film called our own lives. Well how can my life be a labyrinth.. i would ask.. i always ask how and why? so..
Well, thats the word i chose after reading the book looking for alaska. Alaska young and miles halter finds a way to describe what we experience in our everyday living.. within our surroundings, our good sides and the bad sides.. Alaska and miles discover what we can only experience with no knowledge whatsoever but as blind believers and followers.. the perennial routine.. The labyrinth is the only explanation.
What if life was a maze.. your destination well crafted and certain but somewhere far away and all that you can do, is, “follow the spiders” or “follow the butterflies” or do whatever you need to do.. to get on board, to live.. to love… to belong just before you let go.
Life is that pink floyd boat, you set sail to the seas of high living and where do you find yourself.. back to where you began.. whats the point in being surprised. Its best to sleep on it. Sooner or later, things are bound to change. Its all gonna be a great story to stand on the other side. To listen, to know.. Believe me i tell myself.. i will be there on the other side.. watching me win.. and telling people i know i almost lost my mind over the fear of failure.
But what is the truth..
My mind. The truth is i am nothing.. i haven’t achieved any of my dreams.. I am so scared of winning that i would rather lose. I read this somewhere recently.. Its my choice right,.. i can choose to win or lose. Well.. so can you.. 🙂 So can i.. I can win this thing man.. i can make it on my own..
How long have i wandered with that thought in my mind. Its all coming to an end. I know.. it won’t make a difference if it ends.. Pain is the inspiration for all creations.. Pain is meaningful when you understand why you’re in pain. KNowing your life is the best thing you can do to yourself… brings me back to the labyrinth..
Its a very real maze that looks like a solid piece of cloth but isnt. its infact not there at all.. Anyway.. in the movie, he says the only way out of the labyrinth of suffering was to forgive..
Who? What? Why?
Do i really need to forgive myself for not trying? I guess i needed to know how much worse it could get before i pulled myself together.
Im sad. I am my own future. I live.